If Microsoft does not eventually launch its multidimensional OLAP server/engine as Microsoft Plato, it will be the marketing gaffe of the end of the century. The intellectual clout bestowed by the philosopher’s name, together with the fact that the product is already known as Plato on countless web sites around the ether, is a powerful argument for the name’s definitive adoption, when the product actually makes it onto the market. Indeed, it is the stuff of a veritable marketer’s coup.
By Rik Turner
OLAP tools vendor Cognos Inc is already developing a product called Aristotle, which, even without knowing its full functionalities, you would expect to hold high-level conversations with Plato, right? Another player in this space, Knosys Inc from Boise, Idaho, is meanwhile in the market with a product called Socrates, though its detractors in rival companies will recall that that was the philosopher obliged by the powers-that-be to take his own life by drinking hemlock. But then ask Bill Gates about politics…With Greek philosophers’ names being liberally taken in vain, one wonders how long it will be before some bright spark comes up with Plotinus, in reference to the Egyptian-born thinker who, in the third century AD, adapted Platonic thought for the Christian world. In the OLAP context, this addition of a new context might, perhaps, entail some form of web-enablement, facilitating inquiries to remote Plato servers. If the creator could also throw in a Java angle, we could even maintain the religious allegory, for who can deny that the Gospel According to Scott is widely read in both Washington and the industry. I ask for no royalties for use of the Plotinus name, merely tossing the suggestion out there for the budding software entrepreneur. If the product is a success, however, I should like acknowledgement of my authorship on the manufacturer’s homepage, and will gladly accept any invitations to be guest speaker at Plotinian conventions, particularly ones held in desert locations in the US. Should Plotinus prove to be a Dodo, on the other hand, just send me the press release and copies of the speeches…
