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  1. Technology
February 24, 1999


By CBR Staff Writer

– Microsoft Corp has subpoenaed all documents relating to the America Online Inc, Netscape Communications Corp and Sun Microsystems Inc deals of last year. Redmond is supposed to have access to the papers anyway but sources close to Microsoft said that the company had taken the action because the government had been less than forthcoming with the documents.

– Judge Jackson started the afternoon session with a joke that seemed to be unconnected to the case, but which proved to be very applicable to the circular arguments that followed. Jackson read from a list of probability theories. He said that if an infinite number of country boys, driving an infinite number of automobiles shot an infinite number of sign posts with an infinite number of shot guns, the probability was that eventually they would produce all the world’s great works of literature – in Braille! He also posited that if cats always fell feet first and toast always fell butter side down, strapping a buttered piece of toast to the back of a falling cat would cause it to spin in suspension a few feet above the ground. This was because of the opposing fields of motions, he explained to a bemused court. He said that the giant cat-o-rays could then be used to construct a monorail from Chicago to New York. Your reporter would like to add that the Microsoft video demonstration of how OEM machines booted up, followed by the exhaustive, spiraling explanations of the OEM business given by Joachim Kempin gave an idea of just how a toast-enabled spinning cat might feel.

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