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March 8, 2006updated 19 Aug 2016 10:10am

If babies were like software…

PRESS RELEASE...PRESS RELEASE...PRESS RELEASE...PRESS RELEASE**Release under embargo for first three months of pregnancy**LONDON, March 8, 2006 -- Mr. and Mrs. Smith Ltd, a UK-based start-up in the human life-form market, today announced the

By Jason Stamper Blog


**Release under embargo for first three months of pregnancy**

LONDON, March 8, 2006 — Mr. and Mrs. Smith Ltd, a UK-based start-up in the human life-form market, today announced the release of Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0, with a wide range of usability and integration enhancements as well as the ability to act as the central platform for a Baby Oriented Architecture (BOA) rollout.

Building on the earlier host-based version of Tommy Smith Junior that was successfully beta tested in the womb by a number of practitioners in the ultrasound sector, Version 1.0 now runs in semi-independent remote access mode.

In addition to now offering host-independent functionality, Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0 features a raft of user interface, integration and back-end enhancements that help to deliver far higher Return On Birth (ROB) figures compared to competitive products, including:

– User interface enhancements: A full range of communication protocols, from soft gurgling to ear-piercing voice projection capabilities

– Integration: Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0 features tight coupling with Mrs. Smith in order to handle ongoing feeding requirements

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– At the back-end: Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0 features a convenient place for individual nappy storage*

In addition, Mr. and Mrs. Smith Ltd announced that Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0 can be customized to fit a wide range of Baby Oriented Architecture (BOA) standards-based accessories, including clothing, travelling, sleeping and playing paraphernalia**.

Furthermore, the company said that Version 1.0 can be safely and remotely managed using a baby intercom-based systems management interface, with full voice-over-wireless capability***. Mr. and Mrs. Smith Ltd also announced that they are working on adding high definition video-over-wireless on a 4.5G network with the impending upgrade to Version 2.0.


Tommy Smith Junior Version 1.0 is available now at an average cost of £3,500 in year one and £100,000 by the time he reaches 18 years of age, including £500 on nappies in year one (genuine figures courtesy American Express, March 2004). The cost of adding Version 2.0 can be minimized by reusing Baby Oriented Architecture (BOA) standards-based accessories purchased for Version 1.0, Mr. and Mrs. Smith said.


* Back-end storage time varies from 33 seconds to 3 hours before user-initiated nappy replacement is required.

** User will need a bigger house.

*** User still won’t get any sleep.

PS. Yes, I am just back at work after a two-week paternity leave.

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