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January 27, 2005updated 19 Aug 2016 10:12am

Fly on the IT Wall

If only we could listen in on the next strategy meeting between Oracle CEO Larry Ellison and Oracle president Charles (Chuck) Phillips…Larry: "Nice job Chuck - we finally managed to bag PeopleSoft. I thought I was going to have to keep telling

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If only we could listen in on the next strategy meeting between Oracle CEO Larry Ellison and Oracle president Charles (Chuck) Phillips…

Larry: "Nice job Chuck – we finally managed to bag PeopleSoft. I thought I was going to have to keep telling jokes about Craigy Conway and his dog for another year."

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Chuck: "A narrow escape for sure. And Project Fusion is a stroke of genius – it will keep the questions about integration at bay for a good few years."

Larry: "Safe! Say, Chuck, who are we gonna’ buy next then?"

Chuck: "Gee I don’t know, we’ve just blown nearly all our cash on PeopleSoft, even though we already had our own applications suite and still recommend it over theirs."

Larry: "Don’t bore me with details, man – I’m the ideas guy. What about that great little midmarket enterprise applications player – George, or Edward or something?"

Chuck: "You mean J.D. Edwards. We bought them already, Larry – they were part of PeopleSoft."

Larry: "We did? Damn it! No one tells me anything any more. I suppose you’re gonna say we recommend our suite over theirs too?"

Chuck: "Got it in one, Larry."

Larry: "I’m still confused, Chuck. If these companies are so good we go out and buy them, why don’t we want to sell their software?"

Chuck: "Lazza, man – you’ve got to learn to chill out! You’re not paid to come up with strategy, that’s my job – at least it is until I get a better offer and go back to being a hot-shot analyst."

Larry: "For real. But if strategy isn’t my bag any more, what should I do?"

Chuck: "Gee Larry, don’t you know? Tell all the best jokes about Microsoft at our company conferences, pre-announce stuff we aren’t actually ready to deliver, sail yachts, fly jets, and generally have a good time."

Larry: "Wow, that sounds cool! When can I start?"

Chuck: "Err, Larry, you’ve been doing that since 1977."

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