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May 6, 2014

Florida court blocks veteran’s attempt to marry ‘porn-filled’ Apple computer

Apple – a reluctant star in homophobic headline-grabbing lawsuit.

By Ben Sullivan

Chris Sevier, a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran, made headlines recently when he filed a motion in Florida district court to marry his ‘porn-filled’ Apple computer in a bid to intervene in a gay couple’s attempt to get Florida to recognise their legal marriage in Canada.

The case, which was apparently tossed out of the court, is being seen as a troll against gay marriages.

"Perhaps the motion is satirical," wrote U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle in his response to Savier’s motion.

"Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."

In his filing, Sevier wrote that if gay couples "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."

His filing started with the accusation of sale of an Apple computer to him without filters to block out pornography.

He claimed that Apple did not provide any warning about the addiction-forming habit of porn, which led him to fall ‘in love,’ and gradually ‘have sex’ with the computer.

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With the case obviously short on sound legal ground, Sevier thinks his filing has managed to make a point to quash the legal system as he doesn’t agree with gay marriage.

Sevier is certainly not new to weird motion filings as he had earlier sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn; sued A&E after it fired Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson after he was caught spewing anti-gay rhetoric; and more recently, pushed into a Utah gay marriage legal case on behalf of those who "prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals."

The 50-page lawsuit which he brought against Apple demanded that Apple "sell all its devices in ‘safe mode,’ with software preset to filter out pornographic content."

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