IBM Corp’s decision to tear up the mainframe price list worldwide – even though in the US, IBM’s price disclosure is mandated by the 1956 Consent Decree, sent Hesh Wiener back to his keyboard to send his subscribers the following missive.
We would like to tell you a story. It is inspired by – well, swiped from – the late American writer Damon Runyan’s piece, Blood Pressure. Here is our version: We are invited to spend some time with a gentleman we prefer to avoid, who catches us by surprise in a bar (where we are of course drinking mineral water because they are temporarily out of warm milk) and invites us to go to a crap game. This citizen is called Nick the Geek and he is known far and wide as a person not to be messed with as he is somewhat deadly. At the time, we wish we are invisible or in a cast because we do not like to be seen in the company of Nick the Geek, but as we are already greeted and fresh out of bandages, we are persuaded to go along rather than be impolite. The crap game is secret from the authorities who know its proprietor only as a big taxpayer and therefore above suspicion, but Nick the Geek, who is a law unto himself, especially around people afraid of him, which is just about everyone, finds it anyway. When we are in the premises, we try to edge away from Nick the Geek, very casually to be sure, but it is a small room for the crowd and this proves difficult, so we watch all the doings. Nick the Geek bellies up to the table and after a while it is his turn with the dice.
Crapshooters
This does not please the other crapshooters very much as they suspect Nick the Geek is playing not for the pure sport but only because he needs money and that in such circumstances he can be very lucky indeed. In fact, when Nick the Geek gets the dice, he points out that the table is too crowded but that in the interest of the game he will throw anyway. So Nick the Geek borrows the hat of a fellow standing next to him, a nervous type who checks with both hands to see that his head is still in place, and proceeds to throw the dice into the hat, which Nick holds very close, the better to see the dice, and announces the results of each toss. It is a very lucky night for Nick the Geek as in almost no time he wins a great pile of money. His luck does not discourage the other crapshooters, or if it does Nick the Geek talks very loudly at them as they attempt to leave the table, inviting them to stay and assuring them that their luck will soon improve. This luck does not improve until Nick the Geek gets tired of throwing the dice and winning and very bored with the hat he has borrowed. Then Nick the Geek decides it is time to leave the table and go somewhere else. He invites me to come along and as I am still polite I do so, figuring it is a very long night but it is bound to end eventually. I am sure tomorrow is a very pleasant day, particularly if Nick the Geek gets the urge to spend some time by himself. That is the end of our story, but not the end of IBM’s story. Pay careful attention to events at the crap tables – particularly if Nick the Geek is holding the dice.
(C) 1993 Technology News Ltd
