If you’re one of those people who seethes when regaled with unsolicited symphonies – or My Way played symphonically as British Telecom directory enquiries was doing the other day when the people at the other end of the phone reckon that now you’ve got something to listen to, they can keep you hanging on as long as they like or their nails take to dry, an item in the London Evening Standard’s has Ad Lib column suggests the remedy: when you finally do get through, you simply say I’m from the Performing Rights Society and I’m just checking that you have a public performance licence for that music you’re playing – if not, I must demand UKP54.30 for each 15 lines to your switchboard.